Spiritual Cleansing: I Found My Sin’s Forgiveness in a Dream

Spiritual cleansing doesn’t happen in an instant; it begins with remorse, deepens through prayer, and is completed through goodness. I found that journey myself, at the door of a village I’d never seen, in the tears of a mother I’d never met. Sometimes atonement starts with something as simple as following a dream.

Every sin had its price. My sin was meditation. My punishment was a shadow entity.

But now the time had come to pay that price.

Days of remorse, of repentance, of prayer…

I was waiting for my bill for sin. It finally arrived.

Doing good!!!

That was the cost of my sins.

A strange dream, appearing out of nowhere, felt like a divine message.

You have a message — from the realm of dreams!!!

I’m Soline. The name Ali gave me — bride of shadows.

And the sign: a dream!

This is my story. My sins, my remorse, my repentance, my atonement…

—

Spiritual Cleansing Begins With a Dream

Everything hangs on a single hope. My hope was the dream I’d had.

We’d talked late into the night — me, Ali, and Liv. We’d talked about everything Liv had been through. Ali had become a real older brother to her now — someone who’d hold her hand, who’d always be there to lift her back up when she fell.

Ali was sitting in the garden, eyes closed.

“Heyyy, sleepyhead, wake up already!!!”

“Why are you shouting right in my ear,” Ali said.

“My handsome love, what do you do till morning in secret? Phone in your hand, always writing something,” I asked Ali.

“Just dealing with work,” he brushed it off.

Liv had woken up too — with a cup of tea in her hand.

“Good morning, Ali. I know how much you love tea, so I brought you some,” she said.

Ali thanked her. I was completely stunned. I grabbed Liv by the arms and shook her.

“Girl, snap out of it. You’re Belgian, I’m a Frenchwoman living in Turkey. But for a second I felt like there was a Turkish girl standing in front of me,” I said, smiling.

“Why are you so surprised? Remember what we talked about last night. Ali’s my brother now, and since I love him so much, I brought him tea,” Liv said.

Ali smiled. “What’s this, some kind of jealousy attack,” he said to me.

Then he turned to Liv. “Come here, my beautiful little sister.” He took Liv’s hand and kissed it. “I’m always by your side. Some people just about explode from jealousy,” Ali said, laughing.

Aaa, so I’m left out — the two of them are clearly in on this together. I pouted, deliberately.

“Come here, you little troublemaker, come here. You’re my soul, come on,” Ali said, opening his arms.

I ran over and hugged him.

My mother heard the noise.

“What’s going on here,” she said.

“Ali’s up to his usual tricks again. Beatrice, nothing’s wrong, Soline apparently wants to get married — I’m checking out a husband candidate for her on the phone,” Ali said.

Come on, that’s not how this works.

“What husband! There’s no such thing, I don’t want to get married,” I said, taking it seriously.

My mother walked off laughing.

“I’m not getting married, I’m staying right here to be your headache forever,” I told Ali.

Liv was laughing at the state of us.

“Soline, it’s really everything just like you described it, back in university in France. Ali really is exactly the person you talked about,” Liv said.

“Um, Ali, I want to ask you something,” I said.

“Ask away, sweetheart,” he said.

“I had a dream, would you interpret it if I told you? I looked it up online but it was useless, made no sense,” I said.

I told him every detail. He listened carefully but showed no reaction at all.

“So Ali, aren’t you going to interpret my dream?” I said.

He looked at my face carefully, strangely. He gestured for me to hush, be quiet. Then he paced around the garden, back and forth.

“Soline, what is Ali doing, pacing around the garden like that,” Liv asked.

“I don’t know either. Maybe he’s thinking about my dream,” I said.

It went on for about half an hour. Then Ali came over to us.

“Alright, girls, get ready. Soline, take this amount of cash with you, put it in an envelope. Keep some in your wallet too. Grab your car keys and come — we’re heading somewhere a bit far,” he said.

“But Ali…” I answered.

“Just do what I said,” Ali said.

I got permission from my mother, we got ready, and we hit the road.

—

The Road to an Unknown Village

Ali is driving, still not explaining a single thing. He pulled into a shopping mall.

“Come on, girls, let’s shop,” Ali said.

“But Ali, what are we even buying,” I said.

“I’ll tell you,” he said.

The shopping was done. Three pairs of children’s shoes, different ages. Boys’ and girls’ clothes…

Food supplies. A lot of chocolate.

What we’d bought was strange. But Ali was still muttering something under his breath.

We stopped in front of another store, went inside. He carefully scanned the shelves, then spotted a pair of pink shoes. He picked them up and smiled.

“This is it,” he said.

We got back in the car, hit the road again. Ali was still quiet, lost in the drive.

“Ali, what’s going on? Where are we going? Who are all these things we bought for,” I fired off my questions.

“Be patient! You’ll see when we get there, you’ll understand yourself,” Ali said.

Liv and I fell into conversation, giving up on getting answers. She kept asking about the places we passed.

Seferihisar…

What business do we have here!

We’re still going, we’re almost going to reach Didim. At this rate, I thought, we’ll even pass through Kuşadası.

I no longer knew where we were. We’d gotten far from the coast, climbing up into higher ground.

We arrived at a deserted village. Everything looked frozen in time.

I saw a fountain in the distance — but that fountain felt oddly familiar.

Ali pulled the car over. He finally broke his silence.

“So, Soline, does that fountain look familiar,” Ali said.

I didn’t know what to say. That fountain did feel familiar.

“And Soline — does that child coming toward us look familiar too,” Ali said.

A boy, about six years old. Torn shoes. Old pants constantly slipping off him. A ripped t-shirt.

Yes, the child felt familiar too — but who was this child?

His foot slipped, and he fell. He started crying by the fountain.

Liv and I rushed to help the boy. We got him back up — his knee was bleeding, his hands covered in mud.

Looking at his feet, I understood why he’d fallen. His torn shoe couldn’t hold together anymore, it had come apart. He’d fallen because of the broken shoe.

My eyes welled up, I could barely hold myself together. But Liv turned strange — deeply, deeply affected. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought Liv was the boy’s mother. It was so odd.

Ali came over with a bandage. The boy’s hand had a light scrape, he covered it with a colorful bandage.

“Handsome, look what I’ve got here for you,” I said.

I held out the chocolate in my hand. But he wouldn’t take it.

“Take it, sweetheart!” But he wouldn’t. Such a strange child!

“Soline, don’t insist, he won’t take it. His mother raised him that way — he doesn’t accept anything from anyone,” Ali said.

His house was about a hundred meters away.

“Look at this little guy, won’t even get in the car. You two walk with him, I’ll follow behind with the car,” Ali said.

—

Face to Face With the Fountain From the Dream

An old village house with a garden. A cow grazing further out, a few chickens wandering the yard, orange trees surrounding the house…

But these orange trees, this house… the fountain and the child… my God, I’d seen all of this in my dream, I said to Liv.

Liv looked at my face in shock.

“Soline, what kind of miracle is this,” she said.

There was a village woman in front of the house, tending to the plants in the garden. She grew alarmed when she saw us.

Probably his mother… She checked the boy’s body for injuries.

Liv and I explained the situation. The woman thanked us.

“Welcome,” she said.

Just then, a girl of about eight or nine came over, a baby bottle in hand, a lamb trailing behind her. A cat trailed behind them too.

She was clearly feeding the lamb, and the cat was clearly hoping for a share of the milk 🥰

Following behind them was another girl — probably a twin with the boy, around the same age. Neglected, thin, seemingly sick 😢

Despite being sick, the girl had this incredible charm. So overwhelmingly sweet — bright yellow hair, laughing, colorful eyes. My God, what unbearable sweetness.

Just then Ali pulled up in the car. He had a lollipop in his hand, but he’d brought it hidden.

We introduced ourselves. It was clear the woman was a devout Muslim.

Ali approached her at a respectful distance, so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

She laid old kilim rugs on the ground and invited us to sit. Then she called over her oldest daughter, the eight or nine year old. Whispered something in her ear.

Neither Liv nor I were used to sitting on the ground, but we didn’t mind.

The girl came back with a tray holding three glasses of ayran. The weather was hot, the ayran ice-cold — but there were fresh mint leaves floating on top.

I was really surprised, I asked Ali right away.

“It’s hot, we’ve been sweating. The ayran is cold, and the mint slows down how fast you drink it, plus it’s refreshing,” Ali said.

The woman smiled. “That’s right. I didn’t want you getting sick from drinking it too fast, and the fresh mint gives it that cooling touch too,” she said.

My God, what kindness is this. I was genuinely stunned.

All three children were watching us. Ali pulled the lollipops out of his pocket.

“Liv, you had ayran, so you can’t have a lollipop now, right?” Ali asked.

Liv had already caught on to what he was doing.

“Bro, I’m torn. The color of that lollipop is so pretty, and it looks so sweet too,” she said.

“And you, Soline?” Ali asked me.

“Such beautiful lollipops. I had ayran, should I eat one or not,” I said, laughing.

“No, no, you two are way too greedy. You had ayran and now you’re eyeing lollipops. And besides, you two are grown women — these are for the kids,” Ali said.

At the same time, he made eye contact with the woman, silently asking permission.

“Hey kids, these two big sisters of yours are grown-ups now, they can’t eat lollipops. What should I do with these? Do you want them, or should I throw them out,” Ali said.

First the twin girl came over — thin, sick, but with a stunning charm and a warm smile. She picked the pink one, unwrapped it, started licking the lollipop.

“This is so good,” the little girl said.

Then the twin boy came, then their older sisters. Their faces were beaming.

We fell into a deep conversation with their mother, Ali just listening. Suddenly the twin girl came up to Ali, placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Would you look at me,” she said to Ali.

We started laughing at that — so sweet. But then again, Ali draws every little girl to him wherever he goes.

The little girl pointed at Liv.

“This big sister’s eyes are prettier than our cow’s eyes,” she said.

My God, what a comparison that is. Liv and I burst into fits of laughter. Her mother was both embarrassed and smiling.

Ali signaled to me to bring up the subject. I turned to the woman and started speaking.

“Sister, there are gifts in the car for the children. Honestly, we came here to help you,” I said.

The woman pulled back at once, proud. She politely refused.

“I don’t need it,” she said.

Ali, silent until then, started speaking.

“Sister, I have a few questions for you,” Ali said.

“Go ahead, ask,” the woman said.

Provision, Charity, and the Price of Spiritual Cleansing

“Who provides sustenance? Who do we ask it from? How does sustenance arrive? Please answer these questions for me,” Ali said.

The woman answered.

“Allah/God provides sustenance. We ask Allah/God for it. Sustenance comes directly from Allah/God,” she said.

“Beautiful answers, sister. But incomplete,” Ali said.

Then he looked around, spotted the little lamb.

“Sister, do you see that little lamb? It doesn’t have a mother, does it? If it had a mother, it would drink milk directly from her — meaning its sustenance would come directly from Allah/God.

But it has no mother. You milk the cow and put it in a bottle, you feed it that way.

Here, Allah/God is providing that lamb’s sustenance through you. Could that lamb possibly find its own mother and drink from her? Of course not!

Allah/God gave you this task. That lamb drinks its milk from a bottle, from your hands — but it knows Allah/God is the one truly providing it, and that you’re just the means.

Now tell me, sister — if that lamb understands Allah/God’s design, isn’t it strange that you don’t?

If you refuse this out of pride, aren’t you also refusing Allah/God’s decree?” Ali said.

The woman fell silent, couldn’t say a word. Ali kept going.

“Sister, aren’t you the one who prays every single night, weeping — ‘My Allah/God, I ask this for my children, help us, or send one of your servants as the means’?”

The woman flinched suddenly where she sat.

“But… but that’s my private prayer. How could you possibly know that,” she asked Ali.

“Sister, look up at the sky — there’s the sun. Can you cover that sun up? Some things are like the sun — known, plain, out in the open.

Now tell me this — doesn’t Allah/God say in the Quran, ‘I am the guarantor of my servant’s sustenance’?

You had a need. Soline had wealth — she needed to give zakat, the obligatory charity owed on her wealth. Allah/God brought the two of you together,” Ali said.

The woman fell silent again, couldn’t say anything. Then she bowed her head. “May Allah/God be pleased with you. I accept your help,” she said.

To put the woman at ease, I told her about the dream I’d had. The house, the garden, the orange tree, the fountain, the children… I told her I’d seen it all in my dream.

The woman, who hadn’t said a word until then, threw her arms around my neck.

Two Strangers, the Same Dream

“I saw you too, last night, in my dream,” the woman said.

Her confession left me in shock. How could this be possible. The same night, two people who’d never met, dreaming of each other.

The woman was as stunned as I was. Liv was already in complete disbelief at everything unfolding.

“Heyy, my handsome love, come look at this,” I said to Ali.

Ali had gone over to the children at that moment.

The woman looked at me, surprised. “Is he your boyfriend,” she asked me.

“No — but he’s everything. My love, my brother, my father, everything,” I said.

The woman looked at Liv.

Liv waved her hand. “No, he’s just my brother,” she said, smiling.

“What happened, Soline,” she said.

Not knowing our names until that point, the woman was surprised by them — they were foreign names. I explained the situation right away.

“I’m French, Roman Catholic. Liv is Belgian, also Catholic — my university friend,” I said.

“But you both speak such wonderful Turkish,” she said.

I laughed.

“I’m a Turkish citizen — my family’s lived in İzmir for over a hundred years. I taught Liv Turkish myself,” I said.

For a moment I thought the woman was uncomfortable, but I was wrong.

“Come here, let me see you,” she said. She pulled Liv and me into a tight embrace, kissed our cheeks.

“Soline, unless it’s urgent, I need to perform the noon prayer, can you wait,” she said.

I nodded to say yes.

The woman went inside and came back with a prayer mat. Ali went to the well to make ablution. Her older daughter had filled a pitcher with water, waiting for Ali, helping him with his ablution.

Ali finished his prayer and came back to us. But somehow his hand got caught on something and started bleeding. His ablution was broken. At least he’d finished the prayer.

“Alright, now tell me, Soline,” Ali said.

“She had a dream and so did I, the very same night — and on top of that, we saw each other in them,” I said.

“Allah/God is capable of anything, Soline,” Ali said.

Then he turned to the woman and asked about her dream. She began to explain.

“In my dream I was sitting in a corner of the house, the children had fallen asleep. Then Soline walked in through the door, holding fire in her hands, live embers.

‘Would you take what’s in my hands,’ she said.

‘Who are you,’ I said.

‘I’m a speck of dust, and so are you — what’s in my hands is your due, save me,’ she said.

I took those burning embers from her hands. But in an instant, the embers vanished — and instead, water started flowing in my hands, as if I were holding a fountain.

The children were saying ‘Mother, water! Mother, water!’ I gave them water to drink from that fountain in my hands. Then my house filled with light.

Then I woke up from the dream,” the woman said.

Ali looked at me. “Soline, you actually know what this dream means. Let me give you a hint: meditation, shadow entities, and sins…” Ali said.

I understood what he meant.

“Sister, I went through a dark period. During that time I did meditation — I didn’t know it then, but apparently I was committing shirk — associating another being with Allah/God — because the names I was chanting were the names of idol gods.

Demonic entities latched onto me. Ali saved me.

After that I started repenting every single day. ‘My Allah/God, I will do good for the poor, just forgive me, just save me from this affliction,’ I said.

The fire you saw in my hands in your dream — that was my atonement for my sins. But for you, it was a blessing,” I said.

The woman was deeply moved, threw her arms around my neck.

I turned to Liv, laughing. “Wow, Liv, look at me, I’ve become a dream interpreter too,” I said.

We all laughed together, looking at one another.

—

Paying the Price of Spiritual Cleansing

Then, suddenly, something bad happened. The twin girl started vomiting, on the verge of fainting, the skin under her eyes sunken. She came to her mother crying.

“Mom, I have a fever, my throat hurts,” the little girl said.

Ali pulled the child close, took her in his arms.

“Sister, how many days has this child been like this,” he said.

“Since yesterday, she’s wasted away in two days, can’t eat anything, throat hurts and she has a fever,” the mother said.

Ali looked the child over carefully. Then he turned to the mother. “Did a woman come here yesterday? Eyes bulging out, colorful eyes, a sour face, a woman who never smiles,” Ali said.

“Oh yes, someone like that came through here yesterday. She even stared at my daughter strangely, fixed her eyes on her, then muttered something and left,” the mother said.

“That confirms it,” Ali said.

Then he told everyone to move away, said no one should speak. He got down on his knees on the ground. Asked for a glass of water — but one that had been washed, not used yet today.

He sat the little girl beside him. In his right hand he held the glass of water. Ali was reciting something, and when he finished, he’d say “hu” three times. He kept reciting, kept saying “hu” over the water — apparently “hu” is one of the names of Allah/God.

Every now and then he’d stroke the little girl’s hair, smile at her. The child was visibly coming back to life, visibly healing.

But something strange was happening to Ali — he was sweating in an abnormal way.

Half an hour later, he told the girl to drink the water he’d prayed over — but told her to say “Bismillahirrahmanirrahim” as she drank it. The child did as Ali said, and drank.

They waited another five minutes like that. Ali’s index finger was resting on the child’s forehead.

“Alright, it’s done,” Ali said.

The girl went to her mother. “Mom, I’m really hungry,” she said.

“Sweetheart, didn’t your throat hurt,” her mother said.

The girl shook her head no. Her mother prepared some food for her, and the girl ate with a hearty appetite.

Ali had stood up, walked a little.

“This really affected you, I think,” I said.

“When my hand started bleeding my ablution broke — I needed to do this in a state of ablution,” Ali said.

The mother came over to us, the child running around with tremendous energy, as if she hadn’t been sick a moment ago.

“May Allah/God be pleased with you all, my daughter’s fever is gone too. What was that,” the woman asked Ali.

Ali could barely stand upright, still sweating constantly.

“That woman from yesterday cast the evil eye on her — with both her gaze and her hand. But it was heavy, heavy enough to kill the child,” Ali said.

The mother flinched with fear.

“Don’t be afraid, sister. I took in all the negative energy of the evil eye that was on your child. Your child is at ease now, thank Allah/God,” Ali said.

I asked Ali what was wrong. But he didn’t hear me. His eyes stared blankly at me. His face had gone completely pale. He seemed to be somewhere else entirely, in a world of his own.

“Ali… are you okay?”

No answer.

I called out a few more times. Still no response.

Then his lips moved slightly. I could barely make out what he said.

“Every act of goodness has a price…”

“What did you say, Ali?”

He kept looking at me — but it was as if he couldn’t see me at all.

A few seconds later, his knees gave out.

Ali suddenly collapsed to the ground.

“Ali!”

I threw my arms around him.

“Ali, wake up! Please wake up! What’s wrong with you?”

There was no answer.

“Ali! Ali! Ali!”

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